far from my fault

Ya sorry, you looked a lot hotter from across the room, I guess its my fault sorry but I'm gonna leave now and take back this drink too.

hands are full

(Hey Kev why cant you drive straight?) "One hand's got smokes in it and the other hand's got smokes in it"

always time

There is always time for shots. (Dude last call was 10 mins ago) Why do you question me? (I'm just saying) Well I'm just saying, you missed last call on not being a lil bitch.

no bitching

(Can you smoke somewhere else, it stinks?) Sure is there a place where your less of a bitch? Cuz I'd go there.

only words

To be clear I can apologize for being me but I'm not going to mean it so you're best to just fuck right off.

the metric system

A gram, what the fuck can you do with a gram of weed? Wow and you brought a 6 pack. (What's wrong with that?) Nothing, if your fucken 14 years old.

love gun

I wish I had a gun that shoots bacon at vegan kids.

your thoughts

(Kevin do you ever think about morals?) Drop the M and sure I do.

The ass is important. (Yeah, why's that?) How about this, you tell me why it isn't. ..... .... ..... ..... ..... That's what I thought...... you got nothing.

the best add ever

willem dafoe is the shit

nothing for the cold

(I'm cold) Sorry babe nothing I can do for ya. (You could give me your jacket) And you can give me a BJ. (Your a dick) Maybe so but I'm still warm.  

uni bluffs

(the university sent me an email saying I have to do better or I'll get kicked out) Dude, fuck um, they're bluffing I get that shit all the time,,, right to spam.

super sized with Whiskey

sooo good

big in asia

Man I totally forgot I'm into Asian chicks? (dude, that doesn't seam like something forgettable) Well, sorry I don't go to university and don't see thousands everyday. (so out of sight, out of mind) Yep.

Captain Planet

my roommate

"I want to move out, I just want to move to a place where I wont have
the eye of Sauron on me, telling me to stop being drunk and to clean the cat's litter."

nuff said

bagum both

(Kev go talk to those chicks over there, the ones sharing a seat) Ya I thought about that, I'll go in a minute. (Why, you hiding wood?) Ya, I am (So) Well if I go over there like this, I'll bag um both and then I'll feel bad for you, lil bitch. (Well played)

my roommate

So today I woke up and went to the washroom as I do every morning but today was different. This morning  I found a small lake in my bathroom at first I was like wtf but then I saw a tiny note so then I was like its ok. The read "toilette is fucked, use at your own risk."  fuck my life

Kevin Quote

I gave up when the fat chick looked at me and smiled

my roommate

I didn't go out this Saturday night but for the first time in ever my roommate did he got home at like 230am and was telling me about his night and out of nowhere he runs to the washroom and unleashes the craziest puke fest I've ever seen... best "night in" ever. 

Kevin Quote

‎(I'm gonna cry, it's so sad) "Ya I'm gonna cry too, but just,,,,,,on the inside because,,,, you know,,,,I'm not a fag."

Kevin Quote

Absinthe equals limp dick

ninja kid

‎"Spark that shit Mr. Miyagi"

as they leave

‎"Its better to hit on the chicks that are leaving, because getting them to leave with you is half the battle"

this is how i remember it

who speaks for you

Can you try to not have your gaping vagina speak for you? plz that would be great.

the size of man

‎(How do ppl let themselves get that big?) Sweetheart, first off, that's what she said and secondly its Go Big Or Go Home and clearly he hasn't been home in a long time.

focus

"trust you me, life will be better if you shut up and focus on the sluts"

hammered

I don't know about you guys but I’ma gonna get some more hammered in me.

headache?

There’s only one thing that fixes a headache... (weed) No, (sex) No, (then what Kev) Tylenol what the fuck dude? (ahhhaa)

college food

marianopolis

Ya whatever, you would be Marianopolis grad. Fucken cunt. (Wow Kev a lil harsh?) You're right, I don't think she graduated.

names

(Kev do you know any of those girls name's?) Sure bro, there's Sweetheart, Love, Redhead and Tits McGee. (Thanks dude)

gravity

Fuck that shit man, the only law that keeps me down is gravity.

soo good vid

Kevin Quote 10

(Man, I really need to get away I'm so stressed). Ya please do get away from me, your killing my buzz.

easy lil bitch

(Hey Kev I think you should take it easy on the drinking a bit) Ya well maybe you should take it easy on the not being such a lil bitch.

green peace

‎"No way fuck Green Peace, they're a fucking terrorist group."

first kinky

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.